Unfiltered: Stroller Thoughts
We may all smile, wave and give a passing hello when seeing people while out running without strollers. But lets be honest, 9/10 times we are thinking something completely different.
I for one have sass by the buckets and constantly have to bite my tongue from saying "inside thoughts" outside. Ever feel irritated when someone say something to you? Wish that you could just tell it like it is?
Well, I gladly present what I really want to say on a stroller run. It's mean, unfiltered and 100000% true. (Disclaimer this doesn't apply to the elderly or other people with kids/something going on---I'm not THAT big of a pain....mostly)
When someone tells me to go faster. "HAHA so funny! Can you run while pushing a stroller, a toddler and trying not to pass out? No? Then shut up!"
When someone refuses to move over so you don't have to go into the road, grass, random driveway, etc. "Hey no worries, I wouldn't want you to have to be inconvenienced at all. I'll just divert myself into oncoming traffic so you don't have to take 5 steps to either side and easily continue on your way."
When your kid tells you to go faster. "Ok, honey. Let's go ahead and switch places and you can push me for a while. Don't worry, I won't forget to yell for snacks and to tell you that I don't want to put my seat belt fun".
Running by someone while your kid has a meltdown and they tell you it looks like you go your hands full. "Oh for sure and that comment helps so much---Please hold still so I can ram into you with my insanely awesome BOB stroller"
When you have to dodge people and as you pass they politely smile and say OH sorry! "No worries at all, I know that it's impossible to see/hear us coming as we sing baby shark for the 5,000th time as well as kid screaming "LOOK OUT!!".
When the teeny bopper is coming towards you and literally doesn't even acknowledge your presence, has ear buds in and has their phone plastered to their face. "Can I please take a picture and find you in 10+ years to remind you of this moment when the rolls are reversed?"
Someone asking if I have room for one more in the stroller. "Yes, I do have room for a grown human in my stroller, it won't move but feel free to sit and enjoy taking a load off"
Maybe one day I'll actually say some of these things out loud....but for now I'll just share my snarkyness with you :).