I may be a running coach but that doesn't mean I'm immune to setbacks and seasons of running that are less than ideal.
Often it can make it harder to navigate my own running because I ride the line between being stubborn and knowing better. I KNOW that it's normal to not have running be sunshine and rainbows all the time. I KNOW it will pass, that it will get better and that I'm not failing. But like I've said many times before----I tend not to listen to my advice, knowledge, or helpfulness. Turning that coaching brain on myself is HARD.
Ever since I had COVID last May my fitness deteriorated. I am SO thankful and lucky that my body reacted the way it did but as far as my running is concerned, it hasn't been the same since.
I recovered, tried to crawl back into a schedule, and was able to slowly build until I got sick 3 weeks before my marathon. I still ran the marathon and it was an amazingly hard shit show I've ever done. If you haven't read THAT post, read it, come back and you'll understand why I need a hot second to recover. Just as I was getting back into my mojo I had surgery that I had been pushing off until after the marathon. It went fine, all is fine, but 3 months later---- I am no closer to being "normal".Throw in another 2 congestion, sickness head colds and I physically feel less normal then I have in a long time.
To some reading this it could come off as "Excuses" but that is a stigma that we all honestly need to break. They aren't excuses; they are parts of life that are sucky and stupid but nonetheless 100% normal.
I pride myself in being transparent but I'll admit this has been difficult to write. I think part of it is that I don't want to say that I've been stagnant and unable to power through. I've been hard on myself unfairly so and made myself feel bad that I SHOULD be somewhere different running wise. Most of things that I've said to myself I don't believe and while I've tried to gain some perspective the only thing that I keep saying is literally, "WTF?" But instead of throwing myself a pity party (which I really want to do) I'm doing my best to see this as a speed bump, not a U-Turn back to where I started.
I'm still far better off than where I was 8 years ago. I am stronger mentally and physically even if it doesn't feel like it and I WILL get my mojo back. It's not going to be overnight but eventually it will be 1% easier each and every day. So what am I going to do? Cry and scream about it! Just kidding.....kinda.
For productive steps forward I'm going to focus on:
Getting 20 min of movement. It doesn't matter if its a walk, run, dance party---I'm just going to move
Get back to doing my morning gratitude list to remind myself of the GOOD
Stop beating myself up for being human. While I always dreamed of being an alien I am just one person doing my best
Make my own movement a priority. I love what I do and all of the people I get to help with their own goals and I need to make sure that I take the time to help myself as well.
Drink more water because let's face it, none of us do
Take it day by day
Why is it that we are harder on ourselves? Why can I have a clear prospective of my friends and athletes but use myself as a punching bag?
I could go into a deep and philosophical analysis of that but instead I'm going to leave it to you to come up with your own answers and ideas.
As for me? I'm going to get a good night sleep, wake up tomorrow, and be hopeful that the 1% better will start sooner vs later.
To use my favorite quote: